If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
