i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
