Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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