I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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