i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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