I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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