He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize