Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
