Cold hands, warm shart.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
