I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I need to sanitize my soul.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
