So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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