just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
