those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
