Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
