was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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