his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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