STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
