My nipple is on Facebook.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
