I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
