So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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