then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize