Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
