I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
