There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
