found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
