I just made out with a guy for $7.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
organizing the empties. That sober.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
