we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Randomize
