guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
