That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize