My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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