That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
