Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
