she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I think your dad took our porno
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Enjoy the penises
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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