We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
