Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
