when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
