The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize