Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
