ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
