Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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