I'm eating all of the evidence.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
