i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
