hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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