last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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