i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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