So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
