His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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