Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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