Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Randomize
