even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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