I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Randomize
