Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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