I don't think brook has ever known best
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
