And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
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