Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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