Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
