naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize