I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
