What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
