he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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