The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
third nipple confirmed
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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