I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I wish I only lived at night.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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