Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
