If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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