you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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