At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Randomize
